What Is An Orgasm… And How Do You Have One?

by Alicia | 7 April 2021

Orgasms; The basics…

Orgasm, one of the most wonderful bodily-functions known to mankind. Where would we be without them? Although they aren’t essential and aren’t the be all and end all of your happiness or sexual mental health, they’re definitely a pretty perk and feel amazing!

As magical as they are, there’s still a few questions that not everyone knows the answer to… what are they? And how do you achieve one? 

We’re going to go back to basics to help you understand everything you need to know about orgasms.

Fingers in a grapefruit representing an orgasm

What Is An Orgasm?

This is when the body outbursts and releases a lot of emotional and physical sexual tension. This happens when full sexual pleasure has stimulated and reached. This process is called the ‘orgasm’. There are other terms to describe this which you might’ve heard – such as ‘climax’, ‘peak’ or ‘come’, these all have the same meaning.

What are the emotional releases?

There’s a reason behind why sex is ‘so good’, well there’s many! But one reason is due to the numerous mental health benefits due to sex and orgasms. During climax the brain releases lots of good chemicals and hormones into the bloodstream. All of these have different positive effects on the body.


Let’s have a look at some of the hormones and their influences;

  • Endorphins – A study by Brown University discovered that “During an orgasm, endorphins are released into the bloodstream. These chemicals might make you feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm or sleepy.” – This highlights the positive effects that endorphins alone have. Who doesn’t want to have their mood lifted!


  • Dopamine – This is the hormone which releases feelings of desire and pleasure. This could explain how during and after an orgasm, many people feel genuinely happier and content! 


  • Oxytocin – As Science Alert explains, oxytocin is a hormone which is responsible for the innate feeling of ‘affection’ and ‘bonding’. Mixed with Prolactin:
  • Prolactin – The hormone Prolactin enables a feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment. ScienceAlert explains how both of “These hormones can play different roles in our bodies and are part of the brain’s way of strengthening our social connections.” this indicates as to why we are drawn to engaging in affection and cuddling after sex. Prolactin strengthens our connections with each other.


What are the physical releases?

The fun doesn’t stop there. As well as all of the mental releases and benefits highlighted above, there are lots of physical releases to help your overall well-being!

Although everyone’s orgasm journey is different, there are a few common denominators throughout them all;

  • Your heart beats faster
  • Your breathing may change pace and speed up
  • Vasocongestion: This is where the blood pressure and flow increases and spreads throughout the body. This can sometimes increase the sizing of body tissues such as the breasts, nipples etc. 
  • Myotonia: This is where the genital muscles (and also other body muscles) contract and tense up. A natural reflex to the release of the sexual tension.

Penile Orgasms

With a penis orgasm, when the muscles in the body contract, the penis releases a bodily fluid called ‘ejaculation’. This is a mix of semen and sperm, and is one of the most common signs of a male orgasm.

After this orgasm and ejaculation, most are unable to then continue with stimulation for a while afterwards.

Vaginal Orgasms

With vaginal orgasms, some people are able to release fluids (this is often called ‘squirting’). These clear fluids are released during a vaginal orgasm from glands very near to the urethra. These are called the “Skene’s Glands”. 

Not all women can ‘squirt’, but that isn’t a negative and shouldn’t be seen as a downfall. Orgasms can be had by all.

Women are quite often able to carry on with stimulation and orgasm multiple times after they have had a female orgasm already. 

Orgasmic hotdog provocatively held


How Do You Have An Orgasm?

Sex researchers have looked for years to find if there is any common ‘arousal’ technique, however it has been agreed that the orgasm process is entirely unique.

Different things arouse different people. Therefore there is no ‘set path’ to achieving an orgasm.

You just have to let loose and delve into your personal sexual experience!

There are a few tips we can give you, as there are certain erogenous zones which could definitely help boost your sexual arousal; these include places such as the genitals – penis and vaginal stimulation, anus, nipples, perineum and even other places which you might not have thought of – the neck, ears, thighs, lips and tummy! 

With females the clitoris is a great erogenous zone and in fact most women need clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm! Lots of females struggle to orgasm during sex if there is only penetration and no stimulation of the clitoris. Clit is key!


How can I find what stimulates me?

Experiment! Whether this be on your own during masturbation or with a partner. We’d recommend starting off finding out what you like on your own if you’re a little shy, as this could eliminate all possibilities of embarrassment with a partner and you can really get down to it!

As we’ve said, there really is no right and wrong. It’s totally down to you and what you like. When you find it, you’ll be experiencing orgasmic sensations.

Once you’ve found your ‘go to’, why not add a little extra stimulation with things such as vibrators or fleshlights. You could even be more adventurous and include some BDSM.

Sexual culture has made people believe that the ‘climax’ is all sex is for. There is little value to this!


Many people are unable to experience orgasms, or have just never experienced one. It actually isn’t as common as lots would think…In fact a study conducted by Medical News Today found that “It is estimated that around 10-15 percent of women have never had an orgasm. In men, as many as 1 in 3 reports having experienced premature ejaculation at some point in their lives.”

As much as orgasms really are terrific, it is important to remember that they aren’t the be all and end all of sex or masturbation!

Enjoy your sexual activity, whatever it may be – don’t just focus on the end result!