Life is full of roller coasters and before you know it, a small change of circumstances can lead to your significant other moving away and your once intimate love affair becomes classed as a Long distance relationship (LDR).
The idea of not seeing your lover is not a welcome one and many consider a long distance relationship to be the end of the world for them and their soulmate – friends and family might even advise you against it in case you get your heart broken.
Lets face it, lock-downs across the globe have changed the way we live and breathe let alone the way we love and there hasn’t been a more challenging time for relationships for both young and old. Research has shown that there are over 15 million people in the US alone who consider themselves in a long distance relationship.
In 2021, a long distance relationship is more do-able than ever and it is definitely not the end of your eternal flame. Alas, we are not far away from your lover being projected in the form of a hologram into your bedroom. With the right mindset, attitude and approach, a LDR can not only work but thrive and make your love-life more intense.
The Term “Long distance relationship” comes with baggage but our modern-era guide will help maintain the fiery passion of your love life, no matter the distance. We explore tips to keep you and your partner interested and on your toes. Read on to enhance your flame.
The Basics Of Making An LDR Work
A 2018 study found that over 60% of long term relationships last, but don’t panic! To keep your relationship alive at a distance, inject positive energy into it regularly. A good trick to stay positive – be grateful for what you have and list the reasons you love your person. Be thankful for the little things and mindful of your dedication to one another.
See It As An Opportunity
Use this time to grow together and view it as not something that will break your bond but something that will make it. Through this experience your connection will be stronger.
Avoid “Dangerous” Situations
- If going out for drinks with friends will make your partner worried, reassure them.
- If someone is flirting with you, recognise it.
- If suspicion grows, talk about it.
Remember, a LDR can bring to the forefront any red flags and toxic behaviours – over protectiveness and constant paranoia of loyalty is just as bad as the opposite.
Staying Happy In a Long Distance Relationship
Happiness not only keeps us youthful but also plays a vital role in a healthy relationship. Your happiness is just as important as your partner’s and making someone happy is a mutual gift – here are some pro tips to stay happy in your long distance relationship:
Set Personal Boundaries
Boundaries provide space and space allows for organic growth. Long distance relationships fail due to a lack of trust and confidence in the loyalty of each party. Being on the same page of what to expect in the relationship is important as at the end of the day you are on the same team. It is tempting to go on attention overdrive and bombard your lover with questions all day but that isn’t a long term option and the last thing we want is to get burnt out.
Don’t Talk Everyday
Keep it fresh. It’s tempting but hold yourself back from constant messaging and limit the messages you send everyday. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and even though you may be in love, the chase never ends.
Don’t Spend More Than 3 Months Apart
The most common question in long distance relations is “when will we see each other next?” Dating coaches recommend a minimum of once every three months so you don’t forget why you love the person in the first place. It also allows you to see how your partner grows as a person. Sex plays a big role in intimacy and without it people can grow distant.
Do Things Your Partner Doesn’t Enjoy
Your happiness is equally important in a two-way relationship. Use alone time to do what you love and what makes you happy. Do you enjoy hitting the gym or cooking? Take advantage of the distance and spend time doing things your partner would rather not do.
Date “The One”
Imagine committing to another human being across the country and not believing they are the one. Sometimes it’s better to soul-search and invest in you before committing to a relationship where your lover is hundreds of miles away. If you are dating for fun, you might as well do that locally.
Keeping Your Long Distance relationship Interesting
There is no worse feeling than losing love for someone and it can happen from mundane and repetitive interactions. Add that on top of a 100 mile gap and you can see how boredom can be the killer of long distance love. Use these tips:
Use Video, Not Just Text
To keep your partner interested, try switching up the ways you communicate with one another. Apps like Skype can open new doors. If drinking is your thing, why not play drinking games together on a Saturday night – we can all agree that those tipsy “deep and meaningful” convos can be some of the best. Scheduling a video call gives your partner a reason to look forward to speaking to you.
Send Each Other Surprise Gifts
Use your imagination and send your lover a delivery. Gift-giving is one of the pillars of love after all. Whether it’s a customised heart-felt present or light-hearted funny gift, you can bet a surprise delivery brings a smile to your partner’s face and can give your LDR a push of momentum – Imagine the shock on your lover’s face when they receive a pizza from their favourite pizza place out of nowhere. The perks of living in 2021 allow us to do this even from across the globe. Remember, ask their BFF for ideas and inspiration when giving-gifts.
The classic love-letter never fails. Romance can fade with the technology we use but letters stay around forever. Love letters can be very personal and bring a tear to someone’s eye – you can even make your letter smell like perfume/cologne to keep your long distance lover ticking over.
Co-op and multiplayer games alike are good for long-distance couples. Virtual reality games are immersive and perfect for those with some time on their hands. Many LDR couples use gaming to stay close – even if your partner doesn’t like console gaming, many apps cater for 2-players and act as a space that simulates you both hanging out IRL.
Plan A Surprise Visit
Work together with your lover’s best friend and surprise them with a visit. Surprises will keep your partner on their toes and on their mind. There is nothing better than seeing the pure joy and shock on your partner’s face when they least expect it.
Staying Intimate In a Long Distance Relationship
Intimacy and passion are two core values of love and naturally, sex follows. You don’t have to be virtually strip-teasing every time you talk but rather seek to unlock your partner’s intimate side and target their love language.
Here at Sex Toy Saver, this is our bread and butter and our sought-after range of toys can enhance your LDR. App-enabled sex toys let you and your bae play together, sharing the control of each other’s pleasure at the same time – you don’t have to be overly-kinky but be open with your partner and honest. Many people boast about bedroom antics but most aren’t as wild as they seem. Remember, this is about you and your partner.
What turns your partner on? For some, some smooth words and laughter can work wonders so don’t feel the pressure to jump into the deep end.
Send Each Other Saucy Texts
Distance can make even the smallest things hotter but a lack of physical time can make things tricky. If you are feeling turned-on, let your lover know. They will be flattered and a frisky sexting session can leave them thinking about you all day.
Try Video Or Phone Sex
Is it the same as sex? Not quite but it can still be very sexy. Be bold and experiment with different techniques like power play, role-play or fetishes. You can even combine toys and video sex to really up the ante.
Practice Eye Gazing
It may sound cheesy but let us explain. Set aside 4 minutes to virtually stare into your partner’s eyes via video chat. You don’t have to be staring into each other’s souls IRL to get the benefits of the bonding hormone oxytocin, which is created when staring into your lover’s eyes.
Embrace A Virtual Date
This is cute and will bring you closer to one another. Whether it’s cooking, eating a meal or drawing, hop on a video chat like Skype and wine and dine them. You can be flexible or both do the same thing together, sharing a good time.
Combining our do’s and don’ts will have you on your way to everlasting love. Let’s be real, people aren’t perfect and too much space may cause someone to be over-possessive or make your day-to-day life too intense. To avoid heartbreak, be mindful of toxic traits.
Long Distance Red Flags
Secrecy holds the title of the no.1 relationship killer. Keeping secrets can leave your partner feeling anxious and insecure. Secrets create suspicion and suspicion breeds anxiety.
A tell tale sign of someone taking liberties in a relationship is the overuse of secrets. Balance is important. While you shouldn’t ignore secrecy, you should also have faith in your partner and not push them for answers.
No one expects you to be in a relationship with a ghost, thus it’s important to make time for the relationship. An LDR entails frequent calls, video dates and meetings IRL.
If our partner seems disinterested, it’s time to talk about it and come to a mutual agreement.
Sadly some people have backup plans and if you get the vibe that your lover is talking in “ifs’’ and “buts’’ when it comes to seeing you, it’s probably best to avoid entering into a LDR with them.
How To Deal With Long Distance Relationship Red Flags
- Talk about it – if you remain in the dark in a relationship, it’s a nightmare. Communication in a LDR is vital so if you have concerns, list them. If your partner won’t listen, evaluate why you are with them.
- Don’t let anything suck the joy out of life – this applies to relationships too, you are doing a disservice to yourself by staying with someone who makes you unhappy.
- Don’t fight – it’s normal to bicker but fighting isn’t worth your time. Don’t chase after your partner or discard your self worth in the process.
- Maintain your dignity – approach situations with a non-confrontational attitude, if there is a road to recovery, this is your best option.
- Know when to leave – trust your gut and remember your worth. Leave with love and understanding and remember that your next chapter is right around the corner!
To summarise, your long-distance partner hasn’t changed at all, the only difference is the distance. Most importantly, treat your partner how you have always treated them. Make them feel like you are together in person and keep the lines of communication open.
Remember everyone is different so while something might work for one couple, much more is needed for another. Find what your partner wants and act on it while also telling them your desires.
While it can be hard being apart for so long, you can still have incredible sexual satisfaction using a variety of methods that are new and exciting especially with fun home use devices from Sex Toy Saver.